A morning devotion

The beauty of the morning captured my attention, so i decided to get up and enjoy His presence and the freshness of the last breaths of summer through the windows as it the wind blows gently through the apartment. Anyways.... Here is what is on my heart and what I am praying about as the Lord showed me some things in Scripture.

Proverbs 24: 1- 2

"Do not envy wicked men, do not desire their company; for their hearts plot violence, and their lips talk about making trouble."

In this passage, I think often of the times that I desire the friendship of those that surround me, for instance at work or at school, when it seems as though I am the one left without having the fun and am not invited to gatherings in which activities are being done that I wouldn't even participate in .. . I still long for their friendship and their approval. (Most days) As I approach the coming school year ... I pray that this scripture would help remind me that satisfaction and my pursuit of setting my sight on Jesus and following His plan for my life are not found in the friendships and lifestyles of my fellow classmates and co workers. (How easy it is to simply forget this and just laugh at their jokes which stem from evil hearts... the very thing that we should set ourselves apart from and rebuke or just simply not agree with...)

Living as God has Called me...

1 Corinthians 7: 17-24

The important thing is obeying God's commands. You were bought at a GREAT price and so do not become slaves of people. We are now called slaves of Christ.

In my understanding of slavery, you are the master's. You have no heart or desires of your own and you follow and obey all the requests and the commands made to you by your master. Unfortunately how often do I find myself trying to please the master's of my own flesh or the flesh of the hearts of my friends. I want to live fully for Christ, but no one can serve two Master's ... it says so in His word. (Ive tried and it doesnt get me anywhere I want to be)

With all this being said... I think of where my heart is at right now. In this moment I am guilty of pleasing the hearts of my own flesh and the heart of the my loved ones. I want to be holy and pleasing unto God. I desire to be in His Perfect will. In that I also desire that my friends' would find themselves living out their lives according to His will. Seeking Him first in all that we do, and being bold enough to live out that will... even when it comes with a cost. Living out the will of God is the desire of His heart, talking out the will of God with no actions and passion is complete foolishness.

Here I am Lord, correct and rebuke me. I want to be in your Will.

a quiet prayer

sitting here tonight in anticipation with what is about to take place in my life. hungry with a passion and a desire to make the new steps in my life. my heart is desperate for a new pace and a new pouring out of his spirit. i want to be where you are, i want to see what you see, i want to be broken and humbled by your presence. i want to be renewed daily by your grace and peace. this is me crying out for more. my cry be your cry and let me hear your voice. let your heart echo into my ears and resound louder in my actions. i want to live with passion and greater preserverance. you are my dreams and my strength. on you i want to solely rely. god take me into your presence and change me. i am yours. i no longer want to be following the blindness of my eyes but lead into your light to see clearly the brokeness of the world. i will go to where you call to where you send, just lead me. with the battles raging and the war taking place, let me rise up a warrior ready to give all i have. teach me to speak your truth. let it flow from my tongue as your heart is revealed in me. i want to understand the bread of life, place in me wisdom. inpart in me knowledge only to see your hand. humble me. and break me. i am yours oh lord. make me yours.

Life is beauty through pain...

In the pain that comes from life fragility - if you look hard enough and long enough - you begin to see the beauty that The Lord tries to show us. A lesson can be learned from every trial and experience that we go through in life's journey. This past week with the weakening health of my grandpa, life becomes increasingly more fragile and the pain consumes your passion to fight. An important aspect was brought to my mind by my youth pastor, in which a lesson can be learned. I realized that I had been looking right at it: compassion. I need to learn a more intimate level of compassion for every detail of my life. I have been given a unique oppurtunity to experience things... individual to me. Embrace them. School is just around the corner, and I pray that I will apply the same level of compassion into reading the text book in order to one day be able to help care for patients with all that I have. Lord supply me with the passion to keep fighting for those I love and when I am overwhelmed with life's battles I pray you give me strength and perservenance.

Vulnerable

I have so much on my heart ... that I cant bear to think. I am shutting down. I am vulnerable. Someone take my heart and hold it for a while... i need to rest.

Misguided

Discontent.Unsatisfaction. Self Pity.

Disgusting words that describe my overwhelmed heart.

I want. (is all that I cant have)

I need. (is all that I can have)

Why is that I continue to go after the want? When what I need is right here waiting for me ... right at my finger tips?

God ... redirect my heart and lead me to the cross